How To Save Your Marriage

Monday, April 22, 2019

How to Save Your Marriage - Powerful Tools For Enhancing Romance

I know what you’re thinking...

Why as a divorce mediator are you writing about how to save a marriage relationship? Isn’t it your job to help couples end their marriage with a no-fault divorce?

Honestly, I was thinking the same thing…

Yes, my job is to help couples divorce peacefully and it isn't my role to help a husband and wife find a way to save the marriage. But divorce mediation is only appropriate when both spouses are on the same page.

If one of you wants to end your marriage but the other wants to know how to save a marriage on the brink of divorce, there’s not much I can do.

How to Save Your Marriage - Powerful Tools For Enhancing Romance

Would you like to save your marriage or rekindle the passion in your romantic relationship? If your relationship is on the rocks, or is suffering from boredom or indifference, you can take immediate steps to improve it. And you can take these steps without your partner's immediate cooperation!

Pro-Active Steps

Many of my relationship clients say the best time in their marriage or romantic relationship was the "honeymoon period." And they long for a return to those exciting days!

The honeymoon period or infatuation stage is when the relationship is brand new and both partners are on their best behavior and trying to win each other's adoration, respect and love. Both parties are on a natural high as the newness of the relationship makes every date seem so, so exciting. Being with someone new is both stimulating and refreshing.

This period may last for a year or two before interest subsides a little and the relationship becomes more predictable and "old hat." As the initial euphoria and infatuation subside (and the relationship matures), the couple often becomes discouraged and wonders what's wrong!

Nothing is really wrong, but it sure feels different.

This is part of a natural progression that all relationships go through. So how do you save your marriage? Marital problems can be complicated, but one way is to ignite new passion and interest in your relationship.

Suggestions For Bringing New Life Into Your Marriage

1. Relive the early days of your relationship. Recall your first date, something funny that may have happened or fond and memorable experiences the two of you had together. Talk about it over coffee or dinner, or look at a photo album containing pictures of special events in your early relationship.

You'll be stir up some laughs and conjure warm, fuzzy feelings. That's a good starting point... the more you two can recall the good old days and reconnect with what you like about your relationships the better! Pay close attention when your spouse talks about what he/she liked about the relationship you used to have.

2. While you're at it... since we all change with time, find out what your partner saw and liked in you in the beginning. Maybe he/she misses the "old you." If, for example, he/she was drawn to you because of your sense of humor, then try to recapture your old hilarity, spunk and spontaneity. Once again being silly or youthful, and letting go of inhibition (and acting a little crazy) might work wonders for your relationship.

3. Make a date, in the spirit of the old times or early days of your relationship, and try to spend as much time preparing for it as you did all those years ago. Throw in some old-fashioned enthusiasm and a dash of passion on your part. You know, wear a new outfit, get your hair styled and put your best foot forward. You may want to revisit a special place you spent a lot of time in as a couple, or try something new and exciting. Go into the date with the idea of having a ton of FUN!

In other words, forget about the problems, and simply focus on having fun together! That's it. Do not try and solve any problems. Do not try and save your marriage or have ultra-serious talks.

4. To save your marriage, you may want to consider marital therapy, the best way in the world to get to the bottom of your problems. But you can't do that right now, it is always helpful to take stock in yourself and think of ways you can be a better person, a more responsible or devoted partner or a more sensitive and creative lover!

Take stock in yourself. Instead of pointing the finger at your spouse and finding fault, ask yourself honestly and objectively what you can do to improve yourself... and do it. Don't wait for your spouse to make changes. Take the initiative. Be the mature one. Start working on yourself. It'll come back to the relationship in time.

5. Another sure-fire method to solve your relationship problems is to deepen and expand your friendship. Friendship is the foundation or rock of your relationship. If you're having sexual problems, solidifying the bedrock of your relationship, your friendship, may just be the way to go. Re-establishing trust. Just spending quality time together when you are not bickering or fighting. That will go a long way toward rebuilding your friendship and saving your marriage, as well as bringing back some real passion!

6. Have you become a bit predictable and boring in the romantic department? If so, a great way to rekindle the fires of passion in your relationship is to try something new and cool and different! No technique works better than novelty ot surprise! Do something different. Avoid falling into a rut. Be inventive and spontaneous.

But it doesn't have to be a bedroom technique, try meeting your spouse at the door with a whale of a hug and kiss. And say something like, "I'm so glad you're home!" Then make your spouse feel glad, too.

The Crux Of The Matter

In the final analysis, marital problems can be improved or solved by going back to the basics and restoring your underlying friendship, having fun together again, trying new things and taking an objective look at yourself. Injecting a sense of playfulness, variety and optimism can help a great deal. Get out of that rut and sprinkle some new spices on your marriage or romantic relationship -- try a little joy, comedy, compassion, change or surprise -- and good things will happen!

If you've become overly serious or turned into an old hag, lighten things up a little and try to become a more joyful person. Chances are, your spouse will see the difference and lighten up, too.

And don't forget the intriguing and thoughtful person you once were... when your relationship was just starting... and recapture a bit of your old magical essence. Your marriage will perk up in no time! If you need more help, try marital therapy with a competent therapist. Or you may consider relationship coaching services, if you need a gentle push in the right direction.

Richard Hamon is a dynamic coach and therapist with more than 30 years of professional experience. Richard helps people to solve their relationship problems, enjoy truly extraordinary marriages and find exceptional success in all areas of their lives.

You'll find all kinds of articles on how to spice up your relationships and lead a happier life at Richard's website, Happy-Relationships.com. Find out about personal coaching programs to assist you in quickly reaching your loftiest goals. Discover eBooks, relaxation CDs and other informative products that are being added to the site, such as a free relationship quiz to help you assess your relationship.

Richard Hamon is a dynamic coach and therapist with more than 30 years of professional experience. Richard helps people to solve their relationship problems, enjoy truly extraordinary marriages and find exceptional success in all areas of their lives.

You'll find all kinds of articles on how to spice up your relationships and lead a happier life at Richard's website, Happy-Relationships.com. Find out about personal coaching programs to assist you in quickly reaching your loftiest goals. Discover eBooks, relaxation CDs and other informative products that are being added to the site, such as a free relationship quiz to help you assess your relationship.

So There You Have It! Expert Advice on How to Save a Marriage

If you found even one piece of advice shared by our experts helpful, I'm really glad.

And I hope what you've gathered from this article is that saving your marriage from divorce takes a lot of work, requires time and commitment from both spouses, and it won't happen overnight.

But it is possible!

How To Save Your Marriage After an Affair

I know what you’re thinking...

Why as a divorce mediator are you writing about how to save a marriage relationship? Isn’t it your job to help couples end their marriage with a no-fault divorce?

Honestly, I was thinking the same thing…

Yes, my job is to help couples divorce peacefully and it isn't my role to help a husband and wife find a way to save the marriage. But divorce mediation is only appropriate when both spouses are on the same page.

If one of you wants to end your marriage but the other wants to know how to save a marriage on the brink of divorce, there’s not much I can do.

How To Save Your Marriage After an Affair

Your spouse cheated on you and you finally found out. You are feeling that the whole world is falling down around you and despite all these negative and painful emotions you still want to save your marriage after affair. You may have different reasons why you would want to rebuild your marriage, maybe because of your children or you still love your spouse. No matter what are the reasons you must know that saving your marriage after affair it's possible.

There is no specific process to rebuild you marriage after affair but one thing is sure it takes a lot of commitment from both of the partners and many efforts. One thing you will have to do is to reignite that initial spark between you two and in order to do this you will have to work together.

3 Steps to help you start saving your marriage after affair and reignite the spark:

1. Make a list with dates ideas. Sit down together and try to think about some great date ideas. Your marriage after affair is very unstable and it needs some work in creating the lost interest to each other. For example try to think 4 date ideas each and then combine them.

2. After you come up with a list of date ideas it is time to choose one and put it in practice. First select a date and time and mark it in your calendar. In order to save your marriage after affair you need to take actions to move your relationship forward. Doing this will not mean that all the negative feelings will go away but it is your commitment that you and your spouse are really trying to rebuild your marriage after affair.

3. Try to forget about the conflict between you two for the day you choose your date. This may be a tense time for you but you have to remain strong and think about your goal of surviving the affair. This "first date" after the affair wouldn't be the same like your real first date years ago but it will still give you jitters about what to say and how to behave and even what to discuss with your spouse.

You both have to agree that for this date you will remain calm and relaxed and don't start a discussion about the affair or other conflicts you two had in the past, just enjoy your date and the time spent together. If you really want to save your marriage after affair than you have to be committed to this and work together to pass this critical moment.

So There You Have It! Expert Advice on How to Save a Marriage

If you found even one piece of advice shared by our experts helpful, I'm really glad.

And I hope what you've gathered from this article is that saving your marriage from divorce takes a lot of work, requires time and commitment from both spouses, and it won't happen overnight.

But it is possible!

How to Save Your Marriage When it Seems Impossible

When your partner doesn't want to cooperate, you need to carry the challenge of how to save your marriage alone. It will be hard but always remember, nothing is impossible if you hold on to what God suggests you to do. He has promises to each one of us and for whatever it is, you will see that His plan is perfect.

If you desire to save your marriage and your partner is not cooperative, what is the best thing to do? You have to examine what is wrong with the marriage. It will be important that you speak to your partner according to his availability. You need to know what it is that makes your partner unhappy or happy. He/she may have things to hate about you and you need to know them so you know what to change about you.

Fixing a broken marriage is too hard especially when you both need to change things in yourselves, and the change means major adjustments. If your partner is having an affair with another person, it will be too painful and hard to solve, but you need to do something if you really want to save your marriage. You have the right to do something about it so don't just sit there and watch your falling marriage.

How to save your marriage and win back the heart of your spouse is easy in a way. How do you do it? I always tell my friends who have the same problem that it will be easy if we will just surrender it to God. True love comes from Him and so if we want genuine love, we ask it from Him. Have you watched the movie "fireproof"? In that movie, there was only one of the couple who wanted to save the marriage, the other one doesn't even care. But in the end, as the husband waited on the Lord and continuously listen and obey God's instructions, his wife realized that she loves his husband so much.

It may seem that you don't know how to save your marriage and it may be too impossible to make things work out. But if you will just try to know what God says about it, you will understand that it wouldn't be impossible if it is really what He wants. Remember He has a plan for all of us. All we have to do is focus on Him. He will guide our way.

The gap between you and your spouse may require you and your partner to be changed. Remember that you cannot work on the change, you need God to do that. You are not capable of changing yourself and forcing your partner to change too. Changing your spouse will take place in God's intervention so learn how to trust in Him. God knows how to save your marriage. Pray and believe. When God is with you, who can be against you. If you have clean intentions, God will see that. He is always knocking. Let Him enter and take control.

So There You Have It! Expert Advice on How to Save a Marriage

If you found even one piece of advice shared by our experts helpful, I'm really glad.

And I hope what you've gathered from this article is that saving your marriage from divorce takes a lot of work, requires time and commitment from both spouses, and it won't happen overnight.

But it is possible!

Advice For Saving Your Marriage - What Not to Do

When it comes to finding advice for saving your marriage, there are plenty of tidbits to go around. As much as we'd like to think that every little tip we find can be helpful though, it's just not the case. Some of the advice will prove to be more beneficial than others, and others still should be just totally avoided as they can mire your relationship and lead you into deeper trouble.

In this article we won't be giving you tips on how to save your marriage; instead, we'll be discussing more on the things that you should avoid doing when your relationship hits the rough patches of life. After all, you probably wouldn't want to leave anything out when trying to find solutions for your marital problems, and since many of the articles you'll find have probably already taught you what to do, its time you learned what not to.

So, without any further delay, here are some of the things you should refrain from doing when dealing with a failing marriage:

Don't resort to emotional blackmail:

When we encounter problems in the relationship, things can get confusing very quickly which leads us to make a lot of mistakes in the things that we say, or do. Resorting to emotional blackmail is one of the most common mistakes out there. It's actually very easy to make such mistakes because of the fact that you're beginning to get desperate. Saying "I love you" or throwing your children into the discussion to guilt your spouse into submission are just some of the evident examples of emotional blackmail. When things are heated and raw emotions are flying all over the places, emotional blackmail can be seen as an attack on your partner's weakest point, so don't force it.

Concentrate on what you can do:

Promises and compromises tend to be such easy resorts for mellowing down your arguments, but they won't amount to anything unless you take action. So instead of making your spouse feel better by promising this and that, concentrate on doing them. If you start finding yourself to be making such guarantees, stop. Listen to what is being said, state your piece and then start acting on them. This will show your partner that you are indeed serious in what you say and that saving the relationship is still at the top of your priority.

Do not try to control everything:

Fear is a big part of a failing marriage, and sometimes we tend to falter in dealing with it. Trying to control every aspect of the 'patching up' process is one of the most common mistakes that people do when faced with difficult relationship problems. This can be very damaging as it may only lead to resentment and rebellion.

So There You Have It! Expert Advice on How to Save a Marriage

If you found even one piece of advice shared by our experts helpful, I'm really glad.

And I hope what you've gathered from this article is that saving your marriage from divorce takes a lot of work, requires time and commitment from both spouses, and it won't happen overnight.

But it is possible!

How To Save Your Marriage Alone

Following is a checklist of what to look for when deciding upon a divorce counselor/coach. It's important to tell this person that you want your marriage restored.

A level headed, calm person who listens well.
Someone who works with facts and not feelings.
Someone who seeks to restore the marriage first and divorce second.
Someone who will not rush you into anything that's not in the best interest of your children.
A person who encourages you to delay dating, even if you want to date out of revenge.
A person who will encourage you to be truthful.

Someone who will encourage counseling and open communication with your spouse.
After my client and I talked about how he would confront is wife regarding her infidelity, he called her to set up a time that they would meet for dinner. After they ate and had time to talk, he let her know that he had found the love letters in her dresser drawer when he was putting her laundry away. She looked at him in total shock and disbelief. Later that evening, she went to their bedroom and found the notes. She yelled at him while shaking her love letters in her hand and accused him of snooping around and going through her personal things. She screamed at him and demanded that he leave. (Note: under no circumstances should you leave your home during a heated argument. If you do, this most likely will open up the door to visits from the one the offending spouse is having an affair with.)

He firmly, yet with kindness stated he was not leaving. He told her that he loved her and that they would work through this. He admitted he wasn't the greatest husband and acknowledged he had to make some major changes in his own life. That's what it takes - admitting your faults and that you will be working on them to make the marriage work. She didn't believe him. The next day she moved out. He stayed the course we planned by getting counseling, committing 100% to the marriage and loving her regardless of what she was said or did. Over a period of several months, she began to see the changes in him, although she was still seeing the other man from time to time. Late one night she and her lover had an argument that escalated to the point that she packed up her bags and moved back into the house. She told her husband that the guilt of having an affair was overwhelming in the face of all the changes she saw her husband making. She saw that he loved her unconditionally, no matter what she said or did to him.

Something to remember is that even though the wayward spouse falls head over heels with someone else, they may move out of the house or ask you to. However, if you both live in the same house you will have plenty of time to interact by talking with each other, showing your love toward your partner, and showing them the changes you are making in your own life. This will impact your spouse in a way that will give pause for second looks at your marriage and they will start seeing you in a different light.

When your spouse is discovered cheating, you can expect an outburst of anger from them because they have been discovered. They have been humiliated and their cover is blown. Some may deny the affair even with evidence being shown them. Some will stick with the story that they never had or are in an affair.

So There You Have It! Expert Advice on How to Save a Marriage

If you found even one piece of advice shared by our experts helpful, I'm really glad.

And I hope what you've gathered from this article is that saving your marriage from divorce takes a lot of work, requires time and commitment from both spouses, and it won't happen overnight.

But it is possible!

How To Fix A Broken Marriage Or Save A Relationship While Embracing Emotional Needs

Did you know that within the marriage relationship and marriage issues both husband and wife either bear the wholeness of the One-Mind, or instead of separation from wholeness which is what often leads to infidelity in marriage?

How to save a relationship is in understanding that constant healing is a part of everyday life as humans in this world.

The ego-based human mind since the symbolic Garden of Eden has been living under constantly separating thought from the One Mind of Creation-- God, and continues to fragment to this day.

Marriage is God's conduit for love and wholeness.

It is meant to be in this world a safe harbor where a female and a male while in this world may be united and whole as a reflection or glimpse of our real Home-

- Heaven.

It is really difficult to have these glimpses of Home-- love and wholeness, when you are at odds with your spouse. Conflict drains our psychological and innovative energies.

Regretfully, many husbands and wives seem like they are sleeping with the opponent instead of with the oneness beyond the body which we really share.

How to save a relationship or fixing a broken marriage means understanding marriage is a reflection of wholeness of mind within our Creator.

When a couple is on the same page, so to speak, they are displaying the wholeness of the Creation within the One-Mind of God.

Okay, now you have the basic idea of the marital relationship while we pass through time in this world, how to stop divorce and other marriage issues marital relationship needs a plan.

You must decide, when and for all, are you going to commit to honoring wholeness-- our real Home-- Heaven, through your marriage.

Let's move on if you are seeing what I mean here.

If you're making a plan to improve or begin fixing a broken marriage it's best to begin on the right foot.

Even if it is surviving an affair it needs taking obligation for the negative, wrong-minded things you have contributed to your marriage without justifying yourself or blaming your spouse.

Admitting to as a starting point for healing or undoing the separated mind can be a turning point in our lives.

It suggests we make a mindful shift as a contract, we may say, with wholeness of mind, which IS God, about healing our human projections of separation.

When we can let go of the idea of the body as who we truly are, thoughts of wholeness prevail over thoughts of separation.

The Course in Miracles states, "For nothing that you value here do you value wholly, and so you do not value it at all."

Surely while in this world we will have many thoughts based on projections and assumptions that are the ingredients of separation.

But when we can have a higher basis of reflective thought wholeness leads the way during our time in this world.

When we do this, wholeness is the value of God that gives us the power to accomplish that.

The Course in Miracles further states, "In Heaven is everything God values, and nothing else. Heaven is perfectly unambiguous. Everything is bright and clear, and calls forth one response."

Previously I discussed finding the best marriage advice, which led the session to answering certain considerations for emotional healing.

A few of the things you might wish to consider admitting are:

- The ways which you have not trusted and honored your own inner depths of oneness of mind.

- I mean the ways you have not been aligned to your true Reality, the consequences of your choices to you, your partner and your marriage.

Exercising real humility is a crucial part for how to save a relationship or fixing a broken marriage.

Making acknowledgement of your human ego-based thoughts of projections rather than denying the ego, will shine light that causes projection to fade away.

Acknowledgement of the ego getting in the way can go a long way in keeping our hearts caring and flexible to our spouse and commitment to wholeness.

The next step for how to save a relationship is making a plan for understanding your partner's essential needs.

You also must end up being intentional about fulfilling those needs.

When you are meeting his/her crucial emotional needs, your partner will feel more linked and in love with you.

Regular prayer or learning how to do mindfulness meditation certainly is quite effective for healing marriage issue.

Meditate and pray, going within, and see that God shows His love and loyalty to your spouse through you. Prayer is how we experience the individual relationship-- our interconnectedness with our Creator.

The Course in Miracles teaches us that, this "interconnectedness is the Christ Mind, and is what Jesus was here to show us.

Not that he had it and we do not, but rather that deep within we are all the Christ that is the Oneness of Creation.

It means no one being split or separate apart.

A marriage that reflects this image of wholeness-- this 'interconnectedness' I am speaking of, is a loving and safe marriage. For that reason your marital relationship must be a refuge for both you and your spouse.

That's why a strategy for how to save a relationship must deal with conflict.

Your marital relationship can be free from condemnation, contempt, attitudes and defensiveness. It is not, however, a marital relationship that is totally free from conflict.

Your fixing a broken marriage plan requires specific objectives and goals that are written down. Written goals are effective. They place a strategy into motion.

Next, let's begin discussing keeping your marriage away from ever having to begin surviving an affair.

(Please note that I suggest searching the web of some form of counseling if you need to decide, for the best of both of you, you are going to dedicate to honoring wholeness through your marriage.)

You can find related info on topics like, 'the women which men love and adore,' and more. http://jamesnussbaumer.com/is-it-time-for-a-divorce-now-or-fixing-a-broken-relationship/

The link above gives you access to further helpful material and for folks who are interested in letting go of the past and moving on in life to attaining Real Abundance, Purpose, and Wellness in their lives.

Hi, I'm James Nussbaumer, I'd like to introduce myself through my thought provoking self-improvement and inspirational books, articles, videos, Podcast, and other content for a better life, where I reflect on the principles of A Course in Miracles. It's about being all you can be and a life of success and happiness. Thank you for visiting.

So There You Have It! Expert Advice on How to Save a Marriage

If you found even one piece of advice shared by our experts helpful, I'm really glad.

And I hope what you've gathered from this article is that saving your marriage from divorce takes a lot of work, requires time and commitment from both spouses, and it won't happen overnight.

But it is possible!

How to Save Your Marriage by Following Three Simple Steps

Marriages can sometimes resemble candy. There are the Good and Plenty, Nutrageous, Sour Patch and Lifesaver type marriages. What kind of marriage do you have? Let's examine each one and see what candy represents your marriage and how to save your marriage by following three simple steps.

Good and Plenty - In a good and plenty marriage there is a good amount of love, patience, kindness, gentleness and self control. There is also good communication and a good amount of intimacy and support. Good decisions are made as they are made together where two brains are better than one. There is plenty of forgiveness and understanding in the good and plenty marriage and there is no shortage of love for each other. There is also plenty of respect and trust in the marriage. I hope this is a reflection of your marriage.

Nutrageous - Things are not as smooth in the Nutrageous marriage. There are a lot of nutty things in this marriage that drives one or both spouses crazy. Communication is sometimes unclear and mis-understandings exist and cause unnecessary conflict in the marriage. Some days you are not sure what planet your spouse is from because of the nutty things they say or do. You're left at times scratching your head trying to figure out how to fix this nutty spouse and marital situation.

Sour Patch - Marriage isn't as sweet as you thought it would be. In fact it's just the opposite. There are some days in the marriage that are OK and other days it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. You aren't sure if you really like it but you haven't decided to throw in the towel. You are holding out hope that your sweetness will rub off on your spouse and turn your sour marriage to a sweet sensation.

Life Saver - There is a big hole in your marriage and you are drowning. You don't have the will, desire or compassion you once had for marriage. Your hope for living in happiness until death do you part is quickly fading. There are communication, trust, commitment, selfishness and/or other issues causing anger, frustration, disappointment and feelings of hopelessness in your marriage. You often struggle trying to figure out how to save your marriage.

So how to save your marriage by following three simple steps is what follows:

Examine your marriage and see what kind of marriage you have and what issues problems are preventing you from having a good and plenty marriage. Have a non confrontational discussion about the issues keeping you from the marriage you expected and deserve.

Submit to each other and put your spouses' interest and well being ahead of your own wants and needs. Make your spouse the more important one in your relationship. Setting aside your own interest for the sake of your spouse and a better marriage will bring your marriage from the sour patch to the good and plenty.

Commit to staying away from the life saver and sour patch marriages by any means necessary. It may mean making some tough decisions related to work, family and friends but your focus and priority must be your spouse and your marriage. When your marriage relationship is good and plenty everything else will be in balance.

So There You Have It! Expert Advice on How to Save a Marriage

If you found even one piece of advice shared by our experts helpful, I'm really glad.

And I hope what you've gathered from this article is that saving your marriage from divorce takes a lot of work, requires time and commitment from both spouses, and it won't happen overnight.

But it is possible!