Why as a divorce mediator are you writing about how to save a marriage relationship? Isn’t it your job to help couples end their marriage with a no-fault divorce?
Honestly, I was thinking the same thing…
Yes, my job is to help couples divorce peacefully and it isn't my role to help a husband and wife find a way to save the marriage. But divorce mediation is only appropriate when both spouses are on the same page.
If one of you wants to end your marriage but the other wants to know how to save a marriage on the brink of divorce, there’s not much I can do.
Advice For Saving Your Marriage - What Not to Do
When it comes to finding advice for saving your marriage, there are plenty of tidbits to go around. As much as we'd like to think that every little tip we find can be helpful though, it's just not the case. Some of the advice will prove to be more beneficial than others, and others still should be just totally avoided as they can mire your relationship and lead you into deeper trouble.
In this article we won't be giving you tips on how to save your marriage; instead, we'll be discussing more on the things that you should avoid doing when your relationship hits the rough patches of life. After all, you probably wouldn't want to leave anything out when trying to find solutions for your marital problems, and since many of the articles you'll find have probably already taught you what to do, its time you learned what not to.
So, without any further delay, here are some of the things you should refrain from doing when dealing with a failing marriage:
Don't resort to emotional blackmail:
When we encounter problems in the relationship, things can get confusing very quickly which leads us to make a lot of mistakes in the things that we say, or do. Resorting to emotional blackmail is one of the most common mistakes out there. It's actually very easy to make such mistakes because of the fact that you're beginning to get desperate. Saying "I love you" or throwing your children into the discussion to guilt your spouse into submission are just some of the evident examples of emotional blackmail. When things are heated and raw emotions are flying all over the places, emotional blackmail can be seen as an attack on your partner's weakest point, so don't force it.
Concentrate on what you can do:
Promises and compromises tend to be such easy resorts for mellowing down your arguments, but they won't amount to anything unless you take action. So instead of making your spouse feel better by promising this and that, concentrate on doing them. If you start finding yourself to be making such guarantees, stop. Listen to what is being said, state your piece and then start acting on them. This will show your partner that you are indeed serious in what you say and that saving the relationship is still at the top of your priority.
Do not try to control everything:
Fear is a big part of a failing marriage, and sometimes we tend to falter in dealing with it. Trying to control every aspect of the 'patching up' process is one of the most common mistakes that people do when faced with difficult relationship problems. This can be very damaging as it may only lead to resentment and rebellion.
So There You Have It! Expert Advice on How to Save a Marriage
If you found even one piece of advice shared by our experts helpful, I'm really glad.
And I hope what you've gathered from this article is that saving your marriage from divorce takes a lot of work, requires time and commitment from both spouses, and it won't happen overnight.
But it is possible!
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