The question is how many of those marriages could be saved. Unfortunately, that is an invisible number. If your marriage stays together, it is hard to find in the statistics. As Marian Wright Edelman wrote, statistics are stories with the tears washed off.
Can your marriage be saved? If I could answer that, I would be a wealthy man. I can tell you that if your marriage is in trouble and you do nothing, the outcome is guaranteed. If you do something, there is a much better chance that your marriage will be saved.
And I can tell you, in four simple steps what you can do to save your marriage. You can start right now. But you must understand that I said "simple." That is not the same as "easy." These steps are not easy. They do, however, give you a path that you must follow if you want to change the destiny of a marriage in trouble.
1 Tip That Could Save Your Marriage
When you're faced with a marriage crisis that's escalated to the point where one of you is serious about ending the marriage, it's hard to remain focused on any task that involves saving your marriage. Let alone, put together any kind of plan that you could see actually helping you to save your marriage. But, what you can do, is use this one tip that could save your marriage, in fact if you have children you may already use it on a daily basis.
This may seem silly at first or you may even think that there's no way it would work, but you'd be surprised. The little tip I'm trying to get across is reverse psychology. And, like I said before if you have children or have often watched or dealt with children, then I'm sure at one point or another you've had to use this invaluable tool to coach them into the outcome you preferred.
So, that's great, but how will that help you with your marriage, a skill that's often used to coach children into doing what you want? Works better than you would think when it comes to a matter as serious as this.
You see, you're in the middle of a heated matter that involves tons of feelings, emotions etc.. You're undoubtedly worked up constantly and at this point things just come out. Whether it's flying off the handle or crying in the middle of conversations about the marriage. Either way, you're pretty much going with the flow. Whatever happens, happens. There is no plan, there is no conversations or words which are working to set up the next conversation to lead in the way in which you want. Everything is pretty much on the fly, in an instant it either makes things worse or definitely doesn't go in the direction you want.
That's where reverse psychology can become an invaluable tool during this time. You want to avoid giving your spouse the reactions they expect. In their mind, they're already anticipating your reactions, and already know how they're going to deal with them. Giving them a huge advantage and a set in their mind way of how they're going to react. What reverse psychology will do, is eliminate that defensive wall they have built up from their anticipation of your reactions.
Putting reverse psychology to work for the good of your marriage is what you need to do now. But, there's a fine line that needs to be walked, so you don't let on to your spouse what you're doing. This means that you can't do things to out of the ordinary, things that would clue your spouse in to what you're up to. But, you can for the most part start with reacting almost opposite to how you would normally react.
For example, if every conversation has normally led to you arguing about the marriage, do your best to not ever let this happen. If something your spouse is about to do, would normally stir you up and get you all upset to where you begin flying off the handle etc., do the opposite. If your spouse has been fishing for reactions, looking for you to beg them to stay, only to turn this against you to get what they want, do the opposite. Let them sweat on it a little while for a change, shut down their own psychological tricks and learn to recognize them if they've become a pattern.
You'll be surprised at how the balance of power can quickly shift. There are numerous examples of how spouses threaten to leave or talk of divorce, just to get what they want, and it upsets the other spouse into giving them exactly what they want. It becomes a pattern. But, when you call them on it and turn the tide with reverse psychology, it often puts the upper hand of power back into the hands of the spouse who had been victimized by this type of behavior. Give it a try, if there's been a pattern like this, call them out on it. Either way, using it to throw your spouse off of what they're expecting will still serve your marriage saving efforts for the better and in fact can save a marriage from divorce.
So There You Have It! Expert Advice on How to Save a Marriage
If you found even one piece of advice shared by our experts helpful, I'm really glad.
And I hope what you've gathered from this article is that saving your marriage from divorce takes a lot of work, requires time and commitment from both spouses, and it won't happen overnight.
But it is possible!
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