Why as a divorce mediator are you writing about how to save a marriage relationship? Isn’t it your job to help couples end their marriage with a no-fault divorce?
Honestly, I was thinking the same thing…
Yes, my job is to help couples divorce peacefully and it isn't my role to help a husband and wife find a way to save the marriage. But divorce mediation is only appropriate when both spouses are on the same page.
If one of you wants to end your marriage but the other wants to know how to save a marriage on the brink of divorce, there’s not much I can do.
How to Save Your Marriage by Following Three Simple Steps
Marriages can sometimes resemble candy. There are the Good and Plenty, Nutrageous, Sour Patch and Lifesaver type marriages. What kind of marriage do you have? Let's examine each one and see what candy represents your marriage and how to save your marriage by following three simple steps.
Good and Plenty - In a good and plenty marriage there is a good amount of love, patience, kindness, gentleness and self control. There is also good communication and a good amount of intimacy and support. Good decisions are made as they are made together where two brains are better than one. There is plenty of forgiveness and understanding in the good and plenty marriage and there is no shortage of love for each other. There is also plenty of respect and trust in the marriage. I hope this is a reflection of your marriage.
Nutrageous - Things are not as smooth in the Nutrageous marriage. There are a lot of nutty things in this marriage that drives one or both spouses crazy. Communication is sometimes unclear and mis-understandings exist and cause unnecessary conflict in the marriage. Some days you are not sure what planet your spouse is from because of the nutty things they say or do. You're left at times scratching your head trying to figure out how to fix this nutty spouse and marital situation.
Sour Patch - Marriage isn't as sweet as you thought it would be. In fact it's just the opposite. There are some days in the marriage that are OK and other days it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. You aren't sure if you really like it but you haven't decided to throw in the towel. You are holding out hope that your sweetness will rub off on your spouse and turn your sour marriage to a sweet sensation.
Life Saver - There is a big hole in your marriage and you are drowning. You don't have the will, desire or compassion you once had for marriage. Your hope for living in happiness until death do you part is quickly fading. There are communication, trust, commitment, selfishness and/or other issues causing anger, frustration, disappointment and feelings of hopelessness in your marriage. You often struggle trying to figure out how to save your marriage.
So how to save your marriage by following three simple steps is what follows:
Examine your marriage and see what kind of marriage you have and what issues problems are preventing you from having a good and plenty marriage. Have a non confrontational discussion about the issues keeping you from the marriage you expected and deserve.
Submit to each other and put your spouses' interest and well being ahead of your own wants and needs. Make your spouse the more important one in your relationship. Setting aside your own interest for the sake of your spouse and a better marriage will bring your marriage from the sour patch to the good and plenty.
Commit to staying away from the life saver and sour patch marriages by any means necessary. It may mean making some tough decisions related to work, family and friends but your focus and priority must be your spouse and your marriage. When your marriage relationship is good and plenty everything else will be in balance.
So There You Have It! Expert Advice on How to Save a Marriage
If you found even one piece of advice shared by our experts helpful, I'm really glad.
And I hope what you've gathered from this article is that saving your marriage from divorce takes a lot of work, requires time and commitment from both spouses, and it won't happen overnight.
But it is possible!
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